Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and the rest of us who WORKED ON OUR MUSIC.

I play guitar. I'm not a "Guitar Hero", or a "Rock Band Member". I play a Mexican-made, cherry red Fender Stratocaster with a (self-made) custom whammy bar and a slew of home-made tech hooked up to a crappy amp. I have callouses on my fingers, I'm developing mild arthritis at age 19 from strain while playing, and I'm slowly going deaf from the volume and distortion blasting my eardrums.

While this might make some of you say "but Lee, why go to all that trouble and spend all that money when you can just play Guitar Hero and be a rock god?" Why? Because I like it. I love having to ice my hands at night to bring down the swelling. I love having to take a week off due to carpal tunnel. And I LOVE spending 6 to 10 hours to learn a song. Because after spending 2 weeks learning the Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black" while my roommate plays the same song 100% on Guitar Hero in 3 minutes, I can then go OUTSIDE and wow women with my L33T guitar skills, because I know the real song! And unlike those virtual rockers, if I want to learn a new song I'm only limited by my own abilities rather than any stupid restriction like a set amount of music.

So when I'm sitting on the curb outside my college residence playing 'Crazy On You' and enjoying the stars, and some guy comes up to me and says "you suck! I can play that on Expert in Guitar Hero!" the only reason I resist the urge to smash my guitar over their thick heads is that I love my guitar like a child, and you don't hit retards with babies! I merely look up at this lummox (who inexplicably has a girl on each arm) and ask: " but can you play it on REALITY?" Then I hit them with a large club and take their women (cuz that's how I roll).

So the next time you hear the searing riffs of Eddie Van Halen or the bluesy melodies of Keith Richards wafting on the air, remember: these guys worked hard on their music, and saying "I can play that too....just let me warm up the PlayStation" makes Jimi Hendrix spin in his grave. So be a man, buy a guitar and learn a talent.

ya pansy.